ShoryukenShah && his quest.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I've moved out
---------------

I have moved out. Living in there is no more. No more big house, no more big rooms, no more personal space, no more playing the guitar in my own room. No more. After I finished my madrasah, I journeyed my way to the new 'home' . Then, I thought the living conditions were alright. Once i reached the bus stop, I moved swiftly to the void deck & pressed the switch for the lift. I went up, heart pounding wildly. New home. "Who are my tenants?How will they think of it?What does the room looks like? Is it small? big? Is it what I was hoping for? Is there space for us?". Those questions kept revolving around my head when I was in the lift.

The third floor was reached. I walked towards the apartment. There it is, the tenant's house. A rocking chair or swing was placed directly opposite of it. I pressed the bell. There was no answer. Immediately, I took out my phone & punched in my mom's number. Once I got the gate & door opened, I was surprised, literally in shock. I thought the house was going to be like what I used to live in. Lavish chairs, beautiful flowers & all that stuff but this house is the opposite. There were cartons of huge boxes stacked upon one another on the other side of the living room.

None of those cartons were mine. I have yet to see the room. I walked in, hoping that it was beautiful. I got the biggest shock of my life. The room was literally, literred with cartons upon cartons upon cartons of boxes sourrounding the queen sized bed which was put towards the window. I had to literally squeeze myself through the door to get in. That was how packed it was.

Lazying on the bed, was my mother & grandmother. Talking, not doing anything. That got me really pissed.

Then, a certain event happened.

Irwan -
"MOM! Why haven't you unpack our stuffs yet? You know you're supposed to take out our clothes & put it into the cabinet first."

Mom-
My mom literally just looked at me at bragged about why there were a lot lot lot of stuffs & why some stuffs are there.
"Why'd you brought the tv here? Where do you want us to put it you tell me. All junks & why did you bring a lot of stuffs. Why din't you bring the ironing bored? Why's the computer desk here? I thought I told you to throw it away." Mom bombarded me with a hell load of questions.

Irwan-
"MOM! SHUT THE FUCK UP CAN YOU?? Don't just sit there & complain about how this is wrong that is wrong bla bla bla bla. Instead, help me!!! Let's clear out the clothes first."

Mom-
"WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE IRWAN!!? What is this? Why are you being like this to me? YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD! If you don't want to live with me, GO LIVE WITH YOUR FATHER!"

Irwan-
I was like WHAT THE FUCKKKK????
" MOM! Me? Ungrateful? Well, you're stupid for saying that. Who helped you out in packing all the belongigs in the house? ME RIGHT!!?? Who wanted to live with you?ME RIGHT!!?? I want to live with you because I love you. OPEN YOUR EYES MOM!!!"

Mom-
"Ahh STOP IT! All you know is only to defy defy defy & defy. You're no worser than a devil!"

Irwan-
"Oh yeah?? WELL FUCK IT THEN! You're the mother of all DEVILS! GAHHHH!!"

Mom-
"Go back to your father you ungrateful child. Oh & better yet, ask him to pay for this house rent. I want to move out & don't want to live with you."

Irwan-
"BY ALL MEANS ! GET LOST THEN!!! You of all people should know how I feel now. I thought You'd understand but instead, you CAUSED EVEN MORE PROBLEMS!!"

With that, mom went out the door and slammed the door shut. Then, my little sister, my cousin & I , helped ourselves to unpack the clothes & put it in the drawer. 30 minutes later, my cousin & my sister had to go because they were going to have a camp or something like that the next day. My sister's going to sleep at her friend's place tonight.

I unpacked the clothes. Stacking them up neatly on the cabinet. While doing my work, I thoughts wonder about my head. About my fate. About why my life was led to this. It revovles around my head until I realised, I had lost everything. My home, my room, my freedom to do anything. I've lost & fallen down hard on the ground. On the thought of that, & on the thought of the problems revolving in my head, I wept. Never before have I wept this hard. My emotions were uneven. I can think of anything but to cry about what has happened to me. My heart felt as if it has fallen down to the ground. So heavy & painful. Everything, every problem, happened right in the middle of my GCE 'O' Levels.

I had to do something. I called up Dan & discussed about my matters & stuffs. I was crying while talking to the phone. My phone was uneven. After that, I finally decided on what I should do. I have to get away from here until my exams are over. On that thought, I packed up what I needed, called up a friend of mine & asked him if I can live with him for a week. He said okay.
I packed my stuffs, my clothes, school uniform, books & the things I needed. I went out the room, locked the door, gave the keys to the owner & I went out.

Currently, I'm at his house using his computers. For those of you who thought I was missing, don't worry. I'm still in Woodlands & would not be far. We can still communicate with each other.
i feel peaceful for now. I don't intend to go back to that rubbish heap anytime soon. Now, my fate is in my hands. It's up to me to choose what's best for me. No one else.

With heartful of sorrow,
ShoryukenShah.

ShoryukenSHAH
was here @
--8:42 PM

Thursday, October 29, 2009

IT'S ALL GONE!!

I'm moving out. It breaks my heart to see half of my belongigs gone or to be given away.
My xbox 360's gonna be put away somewhere . I don't know the fate off my guitars yet.
Pray to Allah that it won't be given away. As I walk around the house, enter each room.
I closed my eyes and remember how it used to be. The beautiful confy bed. The television. The side drawers. The beautiful memories that I had with my mother,father & little sister. The time we spent growing up together. Now, all of it are but memories. The family that was once held together is now torn apart. The room which was once filled with a beautiful bed now left with just a bed frame. Currently, as I type the letters on this post, the bed frame is being carried away. The drawers which was full of my belongigs & beautiful stuffs now lay oddly opposite of the once beautiful bed. It's drawers opened to a 45 degree angle. The stuffs inside, all gone.

As I channeled away from the master bedroom, I dropped by my sister's room.
Same story again. All I remember was the loud music that used to be barging from my sister's speakers from the computer. The way she danced around as if tomorrow is another happy day.
The single file bed which was neatly put opposite the computer table. The cabinet adjacent to the bed is now empty. None of my clothes are inside. All are packed together somewhere in a box. The bed , once neat,tidy and beautiful, shares the same fate as the other bed, now left with just the bedframe. All the memories, both bitter & sweet. That was the place where I wept uncontrolably. Crying my heart out when he said that it's over. When he said that they're no longer together. That was also the place where my sister & I danced our hearts together, to the latest beats from hilary duff & miley cyrus.

All teary now. Heart pounding like a thousand piston engines pumping . Body went numb. I can't feel anything except for the sadness that's engulfing me. As I turned away from my sister's room's door, towards the right. There it is. My room. Unlike the other rooms, my room is the most complete. Nothing's been torn out or anything like that. Still the same old room. Now, I cant hold my tears anymore. The first few streaks of tears rooled down my cheeks. This is where I made my guitar covers. Sang my heart out. Played songs with the band. This is where I keep all my secrets. The darkest of it all. This is where I rock out, playing the guitar while listening to Eyes Set To Kill. Screamed the latest songs by The Devil Wears Prada & August Burns Red. Hardcore Danced to songs by Attack Attack! Where I brought my friend's over to chill. This is the place where I dream my beautiful dreams. This is the place where I made that present for that special someone.

Now, it's all just memories. How cruel fate was brought down upon us all. Although the only thing I can shed are tears. I will never forget those beautiful memories in this house. The sweet memories. Where I brought her over to chill & we camwhored. Where I hinted the ways I felt about her.

"If u're reading this. You know who you are. I'm going to tell you. Sooner or later, the way I feel about you. This feeling in my heart grows stronger & heavier day by day. I need to get it off my chest once & for all. That time will come. I promise you."

Now, half of my belongings will be deported to Jakarta to my village or to be sold. I will miss this house. It's been 7 years. 7 years of sweet,sour,bitter,salty memories. The memories where I jumped up & down, feeling elated. Where I heard the news that I scored an A1 for my mother tounge. Where I jumped & down, relieved that I got 2As for my PSLE examinations. All that are now memories. Memories that will never come back. Memories that will fade away with time, like everything else. The family outings, the family talks & all that stuffs. It will all fade away.
I shall not elaborate further, for my heart weighs upon my chest. The pain. The gruelling pain.
Everything will fade. The times I had with my family & friends here. Those times are no more. NO MOREE.. NO moreeee..........

Now, right this instant, a new chapter of my life is about to unfold. The chapter which is going to be a bumpy ride, full of darkness & uncertainties. Full of broken hopes but unshattered dreams & ambitions. My desire to succeed will not be tempered by this mere unfolding of a new chapter. Allah is testing me. I pray to you Allah. Make my life better. Pray to you that I will succeed in life. Pray to you that my future wife & my future children will not have to go through the same situation as me.For whoever you maybe, my future wife & children, I will not let this happen to you guys. For I love you all, although it's a long way down the road. I have to succeed. Now, for my FAMILY. for MYSELF. A shattered heart is all I have for now. Next week, I'll be having my sciences & humanities papers. Hope that this little obstacle will not affect my target settings for my papers. I will get my 11 points! I MUST & I'LL GET IT! Until then fellow readers, I cant type anymore for now. The sadness is creeping in way too much. Good bye.
May tomorrow be a better day for us all.

"shoryukenshah"

ShoryukenSHAH
was here @
--12:39 PM

Monday, October 5, 2009

GCE 'O' LEVEL IN 21 DAYS TIME!
STATUS: UNACTIVE!--

I'M GONNA BE ACTIVE AROUND 11 NOV ONWARDS.
TILL THEN

TATA READERS!!!

ShoryukenSHAH

ShoryukenSHAH
was here @
--2:49 PM

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Ever heard of this phrase, "Haters Make Me Famous" ?
Well, apparently, there is such a phrase and from my opinion,
haters make me famous indeed. Just think about it,
people watching my videos, strangers calling me from out of the blue &
to top it off, my blog got spammed. I just want to say,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH ,
because of you, I'm FAMOUS :)
ahh.. wells. Actually what i would like & love to say is

FUCK YOU, YOU SONS & DAUGHTERS OF DOGS & BITCHES!
YEAAAHHHHHHHHH...

Now that felt right eh? :)

People can be such an ass. It is true about man being worser than the devil himself.
Despite all of this pointless spammings, stupid 'prank' calls & other occassional obstacle,
do remember that i've gone through worser than this. So I just want to say,
YOU GUYS ARE NOT WORTH MY TIME.
I've got a family to take care off & to top it off, a mother & a sister which i have to protect.
So think of it fellow spammers. Do you take care of your family?
I guess not. I guess you prefer to lepak with baboons as your friends and decide to invade other people's privacy.

In my opinion, those kind of people really need a hell lot of beating up but from my point of view, I feel sorry for them.

Want to know why?

Its because they lack the love of their parents & that their parents have not thought them well. I pity them because they have a mind of a retarded person. Oh poor poor things they are.

Oh about the prank calls, you guys are bloody stupid as hell. If you guys want to give a prank call to me, at least use your brain. I've been tracking you guys. Your details i've recorded it down somewhere. I'll be going to the police sometime soon. Good luck okay :)

Moving on, the spammers. Dudes, I can track your IP address. Just don't bother concealing yourself because ultimately, we'll face each other. I feel sorry for the spammers too. Their lives are as low as insects. At least insects do not spam. People like them coware behind the screen typing away on their keyboards hoping that people might get angry & agitated. They would do anything to satisfy themselves. So once again, its no use to do that to me because I will not entertain them. I have a brain & I can move on.

The old Irwan Shah & the new Irwan Shah is not the same. So please, stop wasting your time. Go study for your N/O levels ok. Your parents have paid a huge sum of money for it. Pity them.
If there are any further disturbances, just be prepared to hear men in blue uniforms knocking on your door.

Yours Sincerely
ShoryukenSHAH

ShoryukenSHAH
was here @
--5:17 PM

Monday, September 21, 2009

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
to all muslims out there.
Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Yesterday was so so fun. I woke up early in the morn, went to my sister's friend's place & got my 1st green packet of the day.
Then, me & my lil sister zoomed to my cuzzie's place nearby as my grandma & grandpa is over there.

So yeah, we had a lot of fun with our cousins. Record lots of tries for certain songs. Ended up being funny bloopers. I'll post them up soon.

Then, we spent our time there for like 2hrs before we decided to head out to my other grandmother's house downstairs. We headed there & then we shared a lot of ghost stories.
Bragged a lot of random stuffs.

After that, we took the bus from there to the interchange & transfered to another bus.
From there, we travelled from the North, all the way to the East of Singapore to my stepgrandma's place.

Once there, i straight away went to the bedroom & doozed 2 hours of my life away. Upon waking up, I did some prayers & went to my other step grandmother's place.
We went there & hang around for 30 mins before we head out to my distant relative's place at Yishun, yes all the way to the North again.

That was the last house we went for that day before we retire back to our house at Woodlands.
Yes we only went to a total of five house but, my duit raya/green packet collections were quite a sum. In total, I got $199 ^^

HEHE ^^

ShoryukenSHAH
was here @
--3:14 PM

Friday, September 18, 2009

What would it take,
for things to be quiet,
quiet like the snow?
I know, this isn't much,
but I know, I could,
I could be better.
I dont think i deserve it, selflessness.
find your way into my heart
all stars could be brighter,
all hearts could be warmer.
what would it take,
for things to be be quiet,
quiet like the snow?
are we meant to be empty handed?
I know, I could,
I could be better.
I don't think i deserve it, selflesness.
find your way into my heart
all stars could be brighter,
all hearts could be warmer.
(what would it take?)
(what would it take?)
What would it take for things to be quiet?

Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada

CLAN REICHTA
Chapter 1

Well just listen to the song & you would know what I am feeling deep inside. This feeling of emptiness that I can't let go. A huge burden that i so helplessly bear in my heart.
The world is clutching its wicked claws upon me.

Unleashing its ferocius fury. I can't help to think but to blame myself for what had happened. I am the catalyst of my own impending doom. Yet, behind all the darkness & chaos, there is a bright light that shines through it like the light from heaven. The ray of light which brightens just that spot among its dark surroundings.

That ray is called HOPE. A ray of hope shines upon that spot. Though I can see it, I can't reach it. It is so far away. No matter how much i ran towards, it seemed to move further & further away. I put in all my effort, every ounce of my energy, every drop of perspiration to get to my destination. Now, I am but a few kilometres away from it.

That ray of light. Fatigue had taken over me. It slowed me down to a bitter crawl. It seems so close yet so far. Will I still have the determination to move on despite my handicaps or will I lay down & surrender to the cruel fate that have been laid for me?
I will choose the latter.
I will move on through the very bitter end.
The war is fast approaching & I am fast approaching hope
Surely I cannot surrender now.
A sudden rush of adrenalin rushes through my bloodstream. A wave of energy never before felt was exerted from my body. Even though i was still weak, I will go all the way to that ray of light, even if it means to crawl towards it. I will get there.

ShoryukenSHAH

ShoryukenSHAH
was here @
--3:33 PM

Sunday, September 6, 2009

hello guys!!! Shah here again.
Today is the 7th day that blogger is being a bitch to me. *sighs*
I can't upload photos & videos on my posts. Why??
There's no ADD A VIDEO or ADD A PICTURE icon.
I think i want use something else other than blogger.
Gosh its being such a bitch!!! RAWR!!!! > : O
SOoooo.... here's an update.

The last few days were like a sleep over marathon.
Last friday went to Geylang to buy some hari raya clothes.
We walked around the bazaars for like 3 hours & end up buying only one suit for my sister.
gosh WHAT A WASTE OF TIME!!
I said to mom that i wont be buying any baju raya from there because they're not appealing to me.

I'll try my luck in Johor. I heard the baju rayas there are fabulous with top class quality & the best part is that the price doesn't cost a BOMB.

So yeah, after that, went over to sleep over at gramps. Woke up the next day & zoomed back to my house. From Tampines to Woodlands. Took a bus from gramps & slept in the bus until it reached the interchange.

Upon reaching home, I quickly cleaned up the mess in my house as there's gonnna be some visitors wanting to see my house.
FYI, those visitors are Potential Buyers of my house..
For those of you who are kept in the dark, my parents are going to sell this house & i'll be staying over with mom after this house is sold.

Pray the house be sold fast. I want to move out as quickly as i could.

So after that, i got ready to go out again, this time, i'm breaking my fast at my cuzzie's at Clementi. I went there, broke fast & then we went to window shop at vivo.
They went to posh shops like Zara & Mango. Me, being a hardcore scene kid, do not fantasize on such high end stuffs. So, I stood at a corner & watched them ruffling through the huge collection of clothes. After all that, went back to Clementi & went to a nearby Mcdonald's restaurant to get some food. Once there,we ordered food & I ate to my heart's content. I was majorly hungry!!

So yeah, went back, turned in early & woke up the next day which is today. Woke up,watched some CSI shows & then took a bath & quickly scram out . Go back home .

NOW

Potential Buyers in the house, fingers crossed hoping one of them fall in love with this house. I really want to get out of this place!! FAST!!

so there you go!

A colossal blog post just for today.

so TATA GUYS!!
ShoryukenSHAH

ShoryukenSHAH
was here @
--3:36 PM